Thursday, 10 June 2010
You ever have one of those sleepless nights
I'm really tired , but I can't sleep , why hmm I'm going to google it lol
Ok can't find anything useful apart from someone saying that I might have lots of things on my mind..
I probable do but seriously can't think of any at the mo ha ha
anyway what's on my mind at the moment is ..... gratefulness, humility and God
I guess getting closer to 30 I could pap myself thinking of the things I should of done or haven't done , things that I regret , people that I hurt or the people I should have built relationships with, thoughts of I should be further with my life than I am etc ..however although I do have those thoughts..I realise right now I am just humble and grateful for still a wonderful life, a exciting one.and if I'm honest a blessed one..where I can still make a difference to other people even if its just a smile or making them laugh : )
yes there times where I wish I could be a super rock star, a husband, a father, a billionaire, someone important, someone with better looks, more skill, more brains......a fountain of lady's chasing after me and men wanting be me lol ....
But seriously when the people are gone and i have no-one to talk to, and I feel alone and there that ache in the soul ...l I realise I have God ..you know what he reminds me of the things I been through the past 4 years ..now my previous years were not bad but its the past four years I think I learnt a lot ..its the past four years I met alot of people, built alot of friendships , and most importantly got to know myself better ... got to know God deeper, and what he really means to me..
but I can seriously say i actually like myself more as i am more honest with myself, people and God... I'm not perfect by a long short ....I get many things wrong still....i mean just check my spelling lol but God really does give me the grace and strength I need to continue..regardless of all my weaknesses he gives me opportunities to inspire and connect with many others.
now I know people say don't live with regrets ..but hey I do at times ..thats just me being honest ..now i;m not saying its right to have regrets or not just there time I wish I didn't do some things in the past like treating people badly , treating myself bad etc ... but I do know that I do learn from it and I am so grateful I realise ...how to be better, more kinder, patient, more understanding..
anyway I better conclude cos ..now I'm actually feeling sleepy
life is a gift its bloody fantastic ..getting closer to 30 im not slowing down but gonna work smarter, work harder, play harder, manage myself better so I can give more, and hey face those mountains that we all have ...there just so many more people to meet relationships to have, and many more smiles and exciting things to come.
look people life is not about destinations its about the journey its about how well you do the journey there times where you fall , you have to pick your self up , there times where you succeed; be grateful and humble, and there times where its just a drag, keep persevering and be positive..
we can't do this journey alone I tried it doesn't work, we made to do it with others..
we all on the same journey ..we just at different points ..we can choose to condition ourself and help others on the way and enjoy it but it is a Choice!
I'm going to chose life!
anyway must sleep 2moz another day to cherish and have..........go out a grab it...